Comedy

Los Angeles

My New Daily routine consist of these task.  | vlog011

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a whole quarantine vibeeee — @undefined's mag on Magma

<h1>The Lockdown List </h1>
<h2>I’m Trying<strong>.</strong> </h2>
<p>Look, I’m not expecting to emerge from this government mandated isolation a completely new woman, but with all this time on my hands, I may as well remove my eyeballs from their suction-cupped position on my cellphone, and redirect them toward a book or two. Or nine. </p>
<p>Listed above are several books recommended to me by my lovely, brilliant, and <em>trusted</em> stand up comedian friends. I’m starting with Jon Ronson’s <em>The Psychopath Test</em>. </p>

<h1>Outside!</h1>
<h2>I’m Trying<strong>.</strong> </h2>
<p>I’m a stand up comedian. My livelihood is dependent on people gathering in close proximity in an enclosed space while inhaling and exhaling￼ rapidly. Seeing as what I just described is the perfect way to exacerbate the spread of COVID-19,  I am finding myself totally out of work. </p>
<p>So, I’ve been taking walks around my neighborhood to accomplish these 10,000 steps no one will shut up about. They say you gotta do 10,000 steps a day. Okay! Fine. But if I’m gonna walk aimlessly around my neighborhood for 3 hours, you bet your bottom dollar i’m gonna be stoned stoned stoned! </p>

<h1>It’s Just a Phase<strong>.</strong> </h1>
<h2>I’m Trying<strong>.</strong> </h2>
<p>What you need to know about me is that, for about 6 years of my life I was a big stoner. Morning noon and night, my guy. This type of smoking was not sustainable for me when I started comedy so I gave it up, but old habits die hard, baby. I can still roll the finest joints this side of the Mississippi- and likely <em>that</em> side as well. </p>
<p>I’ve been smoking some of Med Men’s <em>Black Jack</em> Sativa dominant küsh. It makes me happy and want to move my body, which is different from my usual state- depressed, and still. As my rolling surface I have used my copy of Joan River’s memoir <em>Enter Talking.</em> What a woman. </p>

Hannah Einbinder: This Is What Happens When Your Parents Wish For A Boy

<h1>From The Before Times</h1>
<h2>Check it out<strong>.</strong> </h2>
<p>Before the lockdown, we gathered together to connect over our shared sense of humanity through the art form known as Stand Up Comedy.</p>
<p>Here’s my attempt. Now, if you need me, I’ll be either smoking weed and walking around, or reading books. Ciao! </p>

I, comedian Hannah Einbinder, am still alive. — @undefined's mag on Magma

Donald Trump Dances To Ranveer Singh&#39;s Malhari. The Mashup Is Viral

<p><h1>TRUMP PARTIES</h1><p>After the conclusion of the Mueller report that completely exonerated the President of the allegations that he colluded with the Russians 45 took to celebrating at a Hindu party. Crazy off the chain!&nbsp;</p></p><br>

Avenatti accused of trying to extort Nike for up to $25M, feds say

    <h1>No swoosh for Avenatti</h1>
    <p>Avenatti got dunked on this week - the disgraced creepy porn lawyer arrested for trying to extort Nike for $25 million. Bro. 🤦🏼‍♂️</p>

Trump announces recognition of Golan Heights as part of Israel

    <h1>Purim Surprise&nbsp;</h1>
    <p>Just days after dressing up like weirdos and eating triangular shaped cookies with jelly filling the Jews got another surprise when Trump made it official that the Golan would remain part of Israel. L’Chaim!&nbsp;</p>

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