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He requested my presence at some Airbnb he had rented for the next few days and sis made a run for it like Gabrielle in the olympics. Fixed dinner cleaned the house washed clothes and worked my shift before packing my bags. Hell my children are 17 and 10 within the privacy of our own home so I dipped. Via route 1 and 113 I make it to the house and little after midnight yet before quarter after.

Excited for my arrival said in the calls yet the lack of movement he displayed with assistance of my bags was in the negative, dude didn’t lift A finger until I lift my wrist as I made a signal for him to grab this. Hell I could have waited until the morning for this type of treatment, at least by then I would have had myself entirely together and not half ass. Either way I was there and no turning back at least not for the night. He showed me to the room and unbeknownst to me we had our own private bathroom which was a pleasant surprise.

As I begin to unpack my things I grab my phone to check the alert that had came through while I was trying to find the house. The text tore through me like a Vulture on dead flesh my eyes immediately filled with tears, my heart with grief and my lungs with cries. Once the sound pierced my ears I snapped back and closed my mouth, didn’t help as the moaning was a sound as well.

Aunt Anera had passed away. My heart was hurting. Good thing for the bathroom I reached for my towel rag and soap and made my way to the shower. Felt like it took me forever to get there. I held the towel to my mouth to muffle the cries. I started to rethink all over again, why I was there.

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Silent fights and solo flights
New heights
New life
Birds chirping, incense burning
Refa flowing, a steady motion
My daily potion
Free as the breeze that blows
Shedding layers just as quick as the trees that blow in an autumn breeze
New life is here 
Being birthed
Birthed of the natural

<h1>Let it all work out</h1>
It’s hard to climb a ladder with someone at the bottom kicking at it
Causing it to be unsteady 
Making you all panicky and nervous
Imagine that person being your partner
Young bitch so hype for a man done signed yourself up for some dumb shit
Blame myself for this one
Been sitting round here trying to take this pain like a G
Done turned me changed me 
Now he mad at me
“Too much like me” 
Is what he says
My demeanor so cold he thinks I’m trying to bump chest
Excuse me sir im a lady

<h1>Stop clock</h1>
Time is of thee essence! Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today! Dream big work hard, your word is stone, don’t miss dates with those important to you or work/school related. Be ever present and remain steadfast
Steadfast in life
Steadfast in love
Steadfast in trust 
Work hard pray harder
Time is of thee essence don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.. Your presence is in the flesh here and now.

<h1>Domestic violence</h1>
Bigger than someone putting their hands on you!
Verbally killing your pride ego or self esteem 
Estranging you from anything that will help remember your name or from which you came
Fellas today love to play the blame game
Make babies and lay the burden on the momma for producing the seed
If it starts at day1 it will be there for the days to come
Domestic violence is much bigger than a physical thing
Killing the spirit
Killing the esteem 
Killing a person and not in the physical is extremely dangerous and is the worse form of domestic violence there is. 
If you are suffering from going through or know someone who is help pray them through. The strength is in numbers

<h1>Sideshow</h1>
A pain that is unreal 
👍🏽 
A hurt not needed to be inflicted 
On a life…. A life that obviously wasn’t on meant to be
Bring a baby home to me or
My family 
of 4
Is now plus 1 more
Ha 
Yeah this life is no more 
All locked doors and no you can’t have a key
Not to a motherfucking one pertaining to me
There is no we

Calm streams
Can be heard falling from the sky 
Puddles start to form
 Day showers 
The sky is bright from the sun
Flowers bathing in both
Nature again brings life
Rain drops fall bigger and harder
At a more rapid pace 
And the puddles, some have grown to the size where they look like lakes
You can view the rain drops falling gives the water a sort of wave forming
Lightning strikes across the sky
And a breeze blows through the kitchen window. As I stare out into the parking lot at what Mother Nature is doing. 
Sounds of rain beating on an empty flower pot can be heard atop the rain hitting the ground

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Culture

Sensations
Blissful feelings or thoughts there of

 I opened my eyes and there you laid directly next to me eyes shut in the most relaxed state. You looked peaceful, I tried not to bother you although my love language got the best of me. You opened your eyes and I asked how you got into my home. You opened the door for me when I called he said. I leaned down to kiss your lips and the universe exploded. There were stars and fairy dust all over. Every action that came to follow my body had been yearning for. We touched, kissed and orgasmed our way to ecstasy and you stayed the course. “I know you missed this dick” you whispered as I mounted you trying to insert that dick in me as you simultaneously flipped me and without a try inserted me. My back arched instantly even from the missionary position we were in. We jumped around on that bed for hours or what seemed to be. when I woke up it was only me, no signs or traces that you had ever been there, we were in another realm making each other holler😩

<h1>Bridges burned </h1>
Lighters and matches oh my

I have crossed some bridges just as I set the flame 🔥 
before moving on I’d always stop and speak intentions into the flame, 
most for the future. 
I’ve buried some stones and some 
other things I won’t name.

<h1>Last of a dying breed</h1>
80’s birthed me 90’s raised me

I could chew you up In a post for the world to see. Tag ya handle so there’s no misinterpretations of me talking behind your back. Good thing for you is I ain’t built like that! For certain that’s no bad thing standards are a must. They tell the story different when they are healed is what the post said as he was leaking his own blood all over hims mommas tiled basement floors. Steady poking at folks indirectly in the blind spots where he think they can’t see. I vibrate higher I am more always at the top peering over. Thank God this shit is over.

<h1>Sensations ✌🏽</h1>
These feelings be feeling

Now just me being up at this hour! 
A couple shots of royal and quarter L later 
La la la la
All American and commercials
I’m feeling like this is rehearsal 
A flic of the bic and a prayer to the flame
A hit of the flower that intoxicates my brain
Numbs the pain 
Story here
Work I know doesn’t make it a story
It’s the glory….
No victim it’s the victorer
Means the one that holds the title
Means the one that over came
Steady crying dead and broke figured out how to be the money and the power
Mind in motion head steady focused 
So much movement don’t know what to do what with it
Too personal
Bad connection or is it perception 
Such a big deal why not take a photo to help reflect it

Silence is needed
Sshhhhhhh


Shhhhhhh
There’s a noise that plays in my ears every time you come near
Reminds me of the sound that played on the television in the wee hours of the night when I was a little tike 
Can’t hear much else
Blocks out all the thoughts that ever were there in the first place
There’s this noise 
And it’s starting to make me annoyed
Can’t hold a thought all on count of it
Much rather do without it
Could care less then to be annoyed 
Time to dead the noise

Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@benjeeeman?utm_source=magma&utm_medium=referral">Ben den Engelsen</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=magma&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a> — @undefined's mag on Magma